'looking back on the things i've done.i was trying to be someone.i played my part,kept u in e dark...'
one way or another,we'll tend to look back & wonder why we did this?why we did that?why did it even happen?clouds of confusion & foolish-iness will seep in & its when we realise we have grown up. For better or for worse,it really depends. have i played my part as a daughter?sister?friend?girlfriend?me? Wow.heavy shit.
'i'm here with my confessions,got nth to hide no more.i dont know where to start.but to show u e shape of my heart..'
I have done what i think was right & i suppose theres so much more i can do but theres only so much i can do...
'try to understand that i'm trying to make a move to stay in e game.i try to stay awake & rmb my name but everybody's changing i dont feel e same.'
sometimes,it feels like being swept away by e waves & u are just vulnerable to all of it.but sometimes,u can just ride on e wave & take control of e situation.it only takes a split second for e reversal of roles. :)
Posted by mistifier at 4:15 PM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
cross junction...
when one chapter closes,it marks e beginning of the next. But when u are at a cross junction,its time to make a choice. If e choices are independent,its not that bad.but when its not,& it comes with so many strings attached,it makes things so much more complicated.
Posted by mistifier at 10:58 AM
Saturday, October 31, 2009
lazy wkend?hell no!
happy halloween! If u ask me trick or treat?its always treat.heh.
Its quite weird not going trg for e wk.but i'll be back soon! Was looking through my mails when i chanced upon a letter which i wrote.its quite sad that most of e issues which i stated in e note,it isnt fulfilled.& its like been more than a year?
If complaining & whining doesnt help?what does?
I am pushing myself. & i'll continue to do so. :)
Posted by mistifier at 2:41 PM
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
home sweet home
after so many days in the hospi, home is really the sweetest place on earth man. but now i really really respect nurses. i can never be like them. and my ward's like a nursing home! its quite a morbid sight. i wonder if next time,i'll really be like that when i grow old. *shudders at the thought*
now that i am back home,started thinking about some stuff. maybe i am trying to hold on to too many stuff. sometiems, one'll learn a hard lesson to finally realise that they cant have everything that they want. & now i truly understand what it means to work so so hard for something to know that the ending gona be ugly. haha. cause thats what we are doing.
was watching part of a show with mummy. this gal fell asleep on an outdoor bench. this guy came along and lugged a potted plant with swinging branches over her head just to keep her out from the sun. how incredibly silly & sweet is that.
jiayou my honey & boarie! GO GO!
Posted by mistifier at 8:07 PM
Thursday, October 08, 2009
emo-lest!
sometimes,its much easier to understand other people than urself. I dun even know myself. All e loopholes & traps are hard to avoid & one day when u realise that u've fallen in, theres pretty much nothing u can do but try to make merry. HA.
I wonder if everything i've done is worth it. Do i really enjoy it or is it simply for goodness sake? Is e facade to be shed or is it to be firmly set in place? To defend or to strike?
Sometimes, e reason why u hang on to something when u know e process & e ending aint that great is for e good of e others. Sometimes i do wonder if people can get tired of each other or e kick is just gone. Poof. Gone. E act is carried on for e sake of it. Not because u want it. Sometimes,maybe what u once had is always e best.but just because u let go of it,there is no way u gona get it back. :)
Posted by mistifier at 7:58 PM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
out of sight out of mind?
din realise the weeks ahead are so packed until i started putting the events down in my organisor. seem like time's gona pass in a blur.
sometimes, setting ur heart on something aint enough. get into action! thats the way it should be. its kinda weird seeing my dear lil colleague mugging at work. i wonder if i'll start doing that next week.
and i really shouldnt let my emotions affect my stomach. somehow i can feel it coming back again. stay far far away from me man!
need to get a hold on my often wandering,cynical,gullible mind. even i myself find it contradicting but its so true. who do i trust? who do i doubt? tough isnt it?
'i'll never let you fall,i'll stand up with u forever. i'll be there for you through it all,even if saving you sends me to heaven.'
i think i wana go try via ferrata! looks damn fun! haha. shall try to plan and slot one day! takers?? think i'll go drag honey to go! haha
Posted by mistifier at 5:39 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
regrets?
i guess this is a damn apt song when u speak of regrets. just letting the thoughts wonder alil bit.too many words will just spoil the mood.
caught 'time traveler's wife' wth bony and my oh my, i do like the show. ultra sad i would say. its the kind of show that makes me yearn for an embrace to make everything go away.
emotional turmoil drains me of all my energy. and i guess its what i think i have been in for the past few weeks. it seem to have improved alil. make it all go away! let me be spoiled for once. make my pleads come true.
school gonna start once again and i am definitely keen on making it a good and fruitful year. esp it being the last year and all. just let me finish up my degree and i'll make everything else work. really. everything.